I've always had a curious nature and my curiosity has gotten me in trouble a number of times. As a child the incidents precede my own memory but I've been told stories from my toddler years of getting my head stuck between bars and roofing tar in my hair. I was always running off and talking to strangers and asking questions and getting into trouble.
I was often cited in school during the early years for not paying attention but that wasn't really true because I was always paying attention - not always to what was being taught but whatever the current preoccupation was... even if it was just the way the wallpaper pictures didn't line up perfectly at the borders.
When I was about 7 or 8 and left with the siblings at the babysitters, we were jumping on the king size bed. I think we had permission, but what I recall was how we were taking turns falling backwards to bounce back up again. I wanted to get the best bounce so was paying attention to how everyone else was doing it and noticed that the others always bent their legs before landing on their butts. I figured if I could go straight down, without bending whatsoever, then I could perhaps have the perfect bounce. Determined I stood at the center of the bed and took a deep breath as I fell straight back - no bending, and I did it. I don't recall the bounce at all just that it hurt like hell!
It's this curiosity I share with you as I continue to paint my life and experience and experiment however the hell I want. I am an adult and I do adult things and this is an adult blog. So first off, if we've had sex in the past than perhaps you shouldn't be stalking my blog as an anonymous follower because lets face the facts, I'm over you. I will make the exception for one in Denmark who will always have a special place in my thoughts and I hate that I broke his heart - but everyone else, bugger off. Secondly, I have to smirk a little that I still manage to affect you ;)
Now moving on - I have a hard time not narrating in my head when I get a spark for an idea or I start to feel emotional (good or bad... or excited for that matter). It's like a "writing moment" flag comes up and I start to form the sentences in my thoughts and think about my stories and characters - not always at appropriate times mind you. So someone took offense to my last blog *coughs* and I had to reread it and when I did, I felt that tingle down my back and noticed my legs start to tense because it brought me right back to those moments. Yes, it was a valid piece (thanks ML) and the emotions and stakes were high, yet I deleted it because well, suddenly I felt naked and exposed. Now that is something I need to work on - my writers skin - because I have learned a lot through the years, like the fact that falling flat on my back even on the softest of surfaces will hurt like hell, but also, I can't please everyone ;)
1 comment:
No, you can't please everyone. It's hard enough trying to make yourself happy...or find that happy place is what I am really trying to say.
I'm sorry that someone feels that they need to cyberstalk your blog, that's a little creepy.
However, you have friends here, people who want you to excel, want you to be happy and find that place.
We are all covered in bruises from our bumps and falls but we help each other up and keep going...and I'm glad that you are keeping it going. Sometimes being exposed hurts us and sometimes it empowers us.
Great post.
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