It's official - October comes to an end and Halloween once again passes by which is sad, not only because now I have to bring in and put away all the Halloween decorations, but also because I also have leaves to rake, unfinished yard work, windows to winterize, and yeah the list goes on. Also, I had to put my heat on for the first time today - yep, Autumn has fully set in and winter is right around the corner!
However tempting it is just to let each dark evening claim the day and hibernate until warmer days, I have to keep active! So I am looking for snowshoes this year, more hiking, and hopefully some cross-country skiing this winter!
Also though, I can look forward to cozy evenings with my netbook and my stories. Time to put away the "summer excuses" and get writing on a more regular schedule - with hot cocoa of course! Yes - October may feel like another year is slipping past but it's been a great year and during these darker months... well within darkness there is the unknown and with the unknown there are endless possibilities!
Cheers!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Versatile Blogger award!
On October 20th, my blog was recognized with a Versatile Blogger award by the very lovely and talented blogster Regina! I am very delighted and humbled that she chose my blog as one in five to recognize!
ver·sa·tile - capable of or adapted for turning easily from one to another of various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.
variable or changeable, as in feeling, purpose, or policy: versatile moods.
Okay, I am definitely very changeable but jumping from one task to another... well that is just my inability to stay on topic, but I'm going to ride this wave just the same!
As part of this recognition I am to share five things about myself so here goes:
1. This part of the award was actually difficult for me, hence my delay in announcing and sharing. After some soul searching I realize that though I'm very much an open book to anyone I know and I throw a lot of personal info just out there, I am actually quite reserved when put in the spotlight.
2. I have three very beautiful and talented daughters and they mean the world to me!
3. I am on a mission to experience and live life as fully as possible! Now that the girls are older and I have more free time, I am constantly seeking out new opportunities and experiences. This year includes kayaking and a helicopter ride!
4. My desire to write stories started in childhood. It was an escape from reality and thus the stories I create are my little escapes. However, I also realize that my ability to create stories is the easy part and the actual writing part... not so easy - but this is a challenge I will not give up on!
5. I can accept that I don't have everything I desire in life but I also can be appreciative that I have as much as I do. Really and truly, I have lots of great friends, but I'm still looking for that very one special friend who will both intrigue and excite me and will let me into his heart as I let him into mine. Yes - I want a "happily ever after"!!
Also - as part of this recognition, I am in turn to recognize 5 great blogs. If you are not already following these blogs, check them out:
http://regina-unsettled.blogspot.com/
http://myblossomingmind.blogspot.com/
http://thejourneythenovel.blogspot.com/
http://jevron-mccrory.blogspot.com/
-- and check out his novel - Swan Song http://ebookundead.com/swan-song/
http://marklaflamme.com/blog/
-- and check out his newest book for sale - Box of Lies
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Balance
Balance - I remind myself that it is a continual effort...not something obtained once and then it's done -check it off the list. It's the practice what I preach to my girls, it's the having faith and trusting, and it is the stop and focus - and breathe. I let myself get so distracted and I think as long as I'm having fun… but at what expense? So deep breath - time to get grounded again.
I know what is most important to me - we all do, the list usually starts with family and from there they vary some, but financial independence is important, and being able to practice the arts we each enjoy individually of course makes the list. For me that is writing and photography. It's the need to capture moments and ideas and share them. It is taking the ordinary and making it beautiful, making it my own.
I am not always able to do that with photography. Sometimes I'm just not ready, like not having a camera with me as I watched a single red leaf tumble down from a Maple tree, turning ever so slowly, and I held my breath for the moment and felt the slight chill of the Autumn air as all my other senses perked up and I could smell and hear the crispness of the collected fallen leaves, and knowing at that moment, that I love Autumn, and I wanted to take that picture and capture that moment... but at last the leaf fell, joining the others, and I wasn't ready.
Sometimes, I am ready with my camera but I'm not able to capture the picture as I experience it, and this is due to having a less than suitable camera for the photography I want to achieve. This is a financial goal that I can work towards. Of course, due to recent sidesteps with my employment, I have to be patient and get the finances back in order first but it will happen. For now I can work on techniques, like framing and capturing optimal lighting.
And then there is writing. I love taking individual words and stringing them together to create more than sentences, but feelings. I will actually reread sent emails, blogs, cover letters, etc, because I impress myself. Yet for the ultimate writing experience, scripts and stories worthy to be sent out, I often stumble. Now, I have been writing stories ever since I was a child and new ideas are always coming to me. I am great at starting and then something happens and I stop, and to get excited again I find myself switching off to another story or script. Unlike photography, I do not have the excuse of lacking equipment. And as I have mentioned in past blogs, lacking time is never a valid excuse for me.
When I'm feeling grounded, I am at my best with committing time to write. Of course when I'm feeling emotional, I am best at creating. Like all the other contradictions in my life, it's a matter of balancing the two. And of course, they don't have to be contradictions - emotions can be great and healthy and exciting, and when the not so happy ones consume me and I feel off, I could always write it out to capture the moment, and then take control again. Somewhere within lies the answer to why I stumble and not complete my works but for now I will just have to have faith that as I continue my journey I will figure it out.
To feel balanced, overall, I need to accept where I am in life and be active and healthy. I stay fairly active and I'm healthy, but now and then I get stuck with the "accepting" part. So here I sit and remind myself that I do have a beautiful family. I have a great job, a roof over my head, amazing friends, and so many opportunities. I am very fortunate and I don't forget those who go without the basics that most of us take for granted. I of course live in ignorance of the real pain and suffering out there - that is a defense mechanism we are all equipped with for if we could truly feel how much hurt and fear there is we would not be able to cope with our own daily lives. My point, though, is that life is good for me...so here I am accepting again.
Today, I took the family to the fall festival at Wolf Neck Farm in Freeport, Maine. Beautiful day out and we had a great time. I absolutely love those opportunities. However, I am feeling the need for a solo hike in the woods. So tomorrow, just me and nature - embrace autumn, take some pictures, and be with myself. Then I will truly be grounded again.
I know what is most important to me - we all do, the list usually starts with family and from there they vary some, but financial independence is important, and being able to practice the arts we each enjoy individually of course makes the list. For me that is writing and photography. It's the need to capture moments and ideas and share them. It is taking the ordinary and making it beautiful, making it my own.
I am not always able to do that with photography. Sometimes I'm just not ready, like not having a camera with me as I watched a single red leaf tumble down from a Maple tree, turning ever so slowly, and I held my breath for the moment and felt the slight chill of the Autumn air as all my other senses perked up and I could smell and hear the crispness of the collected fallen leaves, and knowing at that moment, that I love Autumn, and I wanted to take that picture and capture that moment... but at last the leaf fell, joining the others, and I wasn't ready.
Sometimes, I am ready with my camera but I'm not able to capture the picture as I experience it, and this is due to having a less than suitable camera for the photography I want to achieve. This is a financial goal that I can work towards. Of course, due to recent sidesteps with my employment, I have to be patient and get the finances back in order first but it will happen. For now I can work on techniques, like framing and capturing optimal lighting.
And then there is writing. I love taking individual words and stringing them together to create more than sentences, but feelings. I will actually reread sent emails, blogs, cover letters, etc, because I impress myself. Yet for the ultimate writing experience, scripts and stories worthy to be sent out, I often stumble. Now, I have been writing stories ever since I was a child and new ideas are always coming to me. I am great at starting and then something happens and I stop, and to get excited again I find myself switching off to another story or script. Unlike photography, I do not have the excuse of lacking equipment. And as I have mentioned in past blogs, lacking time is never a valid excuse for me.
When I'm feeling grounded, I am at my best with committing time to write. Of course when I'm feeling emotional, I am best at creating. Like all the other contradictions in my life, it's a matter of balancing the two. And of course, they don't have to be contradictions - emotions can be great and healthy and exciting, and when the not so happy ones consume me and I feel off, I could always write it out to capture the moment, and then take control again. Somewhere within lies the answer to why I stumble and not complete my works but for now I will just have to have faith that as I continue my journey I will figure it out.
To feel balanced, overall, I need to accept where I am in life and be active and healthy. I stay fairly active and I'm healthy, but now and then I get stuck with the "accepting" part. So here I sit and remind myself that I do have a beautiful family. I have a great job, a roof over my head, amazing friends, and so many opportunities. I am very fortunate and I don't forget those who go without the basics that most of us take for granted. I of course live in ignorance of the real pain and suffering out there - that is a defense mechanism we are all equipped with for if we could truly feel how much hurt and fear there is we would not be able to cope with our own daily lives. My point, though, is that life is good for me...so here I am accepting again.
Today, I took the family to the fall festival at Wolf Neck Farm in Freeport, Maine. Beautiful day out and we had a great time. I absolutely love those opportunities. However, I am feeling the need for a solo hike in the woods. So tomorrow, just me and nature - embrace autumn, take some pictures, and be with myself. Then I will truly be grounded again.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Curiosity killed the... blog post
I've always had a curious nature and my curiosity has gotten me in trouble a number of times. As a child the incidents precede my own memory but I've been told stories from my toddler years of getting my head stuck between bars and roofing tar in my hair. I was always running off and talking to strangers and asking questions and getting into trouble.
I was often cited in school during the early years for not paying attention but that wasn't really true because I was always paying attention - not always to what was being taught but whatever the current preoccupation was... even if it was just the way the wallpaper pictures didn't line up perfectly at the borders.
When I was about 7 or 8 and left with the siblings at the babysitters, we were jumping on the king size bed. I think we had permission, but what I recall was how we were taking turns falling backwards to bounce back up again. I wanted to get the best bounce so was paying attention to how everyone else was doing it and noticed that the others always bent their legs before landing on their butts. I figured if I could go straight down, without bending whatsoever, then I could perhaps have the perfect bounce. Determined I stood at the center of the bed and took a deep breath as I fell straight back - no bending, and I did it. I don't recall the bounce at all just that it hurt like hell!
It's this curiosity I share with you as I continue to paint my life and experience and experiment however the hell I want. I am an adult and I do adult things and this is an adult blog. So first off, if we've had sex in the past than perhaps you shouldn't be stalking my blog as an anonymous follower because lets face the facts, I'm over you. I will make the exception for one in Denmark who will always have a special place in my thoughts and I hate that I broke his heart - but everyone else, bugger off. Secondly, I have to smirk a little that I still manage to affect you ;)
Now moving on - I have a hard time not narrating in my head when I get a spark for an idea or I start to feel emotional (good or bad... or excited for that matter). It's like a "writing moment" flag comes up and I start to form the sentences in my thoughts and think about my stories and characters - not always at appropriate times mind you. So someone took offense to my last blog *coughs* and I had to reread it and when I did, I felt that tingle down my back and noticed my legs start to tense because it brought me right back to those moments. Yes, it was a valid piece (thanks ML) and the emotions and stakes were high, yet I deleted it because well, suddenly I felt naked and exposed. Now that is something I need to work on - my writers skin - because I have learned a lot through the years, like the fact that falling flat on my back even on the softest of surfaces will hurt like hell, but also, I can't please everyone ;)
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