Enraptured by Nature

I went out to the rock quarry yesterday by myself. The walk on the trails was a welcomed escape from the clutter of my house. At the larger pond, surrounded by trees, are some cliffs inviting the foolish to jump off into the dingy water. It is there that I sat with my notebook to write down some thoughts.

The warmth of the sun was inviting and I soon shed the outer layers of my clothing and laid down to bask in its embrace. The heat pressed down against me, pinning my body to the rigid stone surface. I relaxed, gave in, let my thoughts drift as beads of sweat danced on my belly.

Then I heard the howl - I couldn't feel it yet but I knew it was approaching. Like an incoming wave at the ocean, it got louder as it built up, ready to crash down upon me. The trees swayed as it raced through them, circling the gorge, coming...

The wind screamed out as it coursed through my body; lifting its thrall to its wrath, raising goosebumps, tantalizing, violating ... I trembled.

A butterfly, pivotal plot point, and a small victory!

"Put your hands where I can see them and step away from the keyboard!" That is what I am telling myself as I'm stuck and I've just notice a lot of time going by and my thoughts are wandering and the paragraph keeps changing, but not progressing and I've been on page 40 since I opened up Final Draft this morning... Okay - there, I closed it!

Two weeks from today I started the outline for this screenplay (from the beach) and got quite a bit done. This week, still typing away, the story is almost all there but I've noticed a couple things. For one I feel my story is more than half way over but I'm only on page 40... umm.. problem. A movie is generally about a about 100 pages (figure one minute per page)and at this rate the end credits will be running where the climax is suppose to hit! Also - needs more comedy - more characterization as well. I figured if I could just get through the script, then I can back-track and fluff it up. But here I am on page 40 and I'm stuck on transitioning...

I don't like to give away my stories online, but basically guy about to lose girl, hasn't quite figured it out yet, but here should be the turning point... now he's going to try... and things should seem good for a few more pages when something unexpected and huge and disastrous should make it look like he realized too late, that it was all for nothing, really he should give up but then ... well forget then, how about now? I'm at a turning point for my protagonist. Now he realizes the error in his ways - or he thinks he does, and tries to correct what he did wrong. Through this process where he is practically faking it in desperation, he will start to really see what he's been missing. Then of course it might be too late... but that is where I need to get to.

So basically I know how the story ends, just stuck on a pivotal plot point. This is where I miss having a writing partner. I also need to work on some character profiling, to make certain I understand my characters and give them their unique voices. "Creating Unforgettable Characters" by Linda Seger has been helpful. I will finish reading this week so I can return it to its owner.

But anyway the sun is peeking out and I am going to pick up my daughter at school and may go for a walk in the woods to clear my head.

I'm quite content with the amount of writing I have accomplished during the last few weeks, not just on this script but in polishing up some other stories. I go back to work next week and I'm ready. I will go back to writing at night and on the weekends and frantically getting everything else done before and after work. On a good note, the agency I left confirmed that I should have been allowed to work the notice I gave and agreed to pay me for the entire month of September! Ahh... small victories always taste good :)

Hitting the Beach!

Last week we had a heat wave. Convenient timing with me being temporarily out of work. I decided to become a beach bum. Actually on the first Monday of my new "temporarily unemployed" status I thought I would go to the air conditioned library partly because I don't have an air conditioner but mostly to ignore all the laundry, dishes, and other daily chores that I usually squeeze in before and after working hours. These were now my work days and I knew that sipping coffee while listening to old tunes from the 80s would only lead to long stretches of dusting and washing - things I generally do in a frenzy, not at leisure. So netbook in hand, to the library I went.

The problem with the library and it's unlimited resources (and air conditioning) is that it also has internet. In front of the computer with internet meant I would quickly check my email, and then Facebook, and then other blogs, and then Facebook - well someone was talking to me- and then the writing forums, and then email again. I certainly had Final Draft opened as well as Word - hadn't quite decided what to work on - and ultimately did very little writing.

So the next day I decided to go to the beach - no internet. I had my chair, towel, camera, sunblock, lunch, frozen water, netbook and a regular notebook with pen - and in my bathing suit I went! It was actually pretty great. Even in the shade I couldn't really see the netbook well enough so I used the old pen and paper and picked one project (a script for a comedy idea I had been kicking around for over a year) and started writing the outline. I had previously given the story line some thought so I did have some mental images and I got lost in them.

There were other beach patrons, lots of kids splashing in the water, many birds, and the air was warm and sticky -but none of these things distracted me. It was like I was in my own plane of existence, surrounded in a protective circle. I remember looking up and realizing how I hadn't even noticed so many more people had arrived. I ate my lunch, thought more on my script ideas and then went for a long walk out on the trails that follow the shore.

On my return walk, I decided to go in for a swim. I thought about how I only really mastered floating on my back this year. It's funny how when it comes to trusting others I had always been able to do so "live on the edge" and reach out my hand. Yet, trusting myself... well why didn't I? This is the demon I will conquer this year in reaching my goal of trying new things - expanding my horizons - and this will unleash my inner writer; unlike my writing years of past when I approached the keyboard wearing a buzz like jewelry. So with the help of a friend earlier this summer, I trusted I could float on my back. This first solo- beach day I mastered it and swam about on my back, playing in the water all by myself like a little kid.

I got in more writing before I left and decided to go back the next day. Again, write to the notebook - as in paper and pen (didn't bring the netbook) and cranked out the first scene. A guy who had noticed me the day before when we exchange polite greetings came over to introduce himself. Turns out he is part of the AHC - Appalachian Hiking Club, a club I had recently researched and considered joining. We talked briefly, exchanged emails, then I ate my lunch and decided to go for another nature walk. This time I took my beach bag with my notebook, camera, etc. I walked quite a ways, no longer able to hear any of the beach patrons but instead the chipper of busy chipmunks and calls of various birds. I didn't hear anything from the snake I almost stepped on but since he didn't slither I was able to get a couple pictures.

As I thought out my script, I would stop along different points and write and then walk some more. One particular spot, caught in the shot above, I spent a great deal of time at while finishing up the second scene. I decided I was enjoying myself way too much and would bring my daughter the next day as soon as school let out (I did). Yep, I believe that officially made me a beach bum, especially if I count that I went out to the ocean the Sunday before. But the weather was amazing for late August/early September and the amount of writing I got in - along with a little bit more color, was well worth the time. That evening and in the mornings to follow at home I transferred from paper to my netbook and I have continued to work on the script. Just this morning (Labor Day) I was impressed that for two hours straight from the time I woke up I wrote before checking email or Facebook.

So ends another weekend and starts another work week where I don't have to dress up into office clothes. The heatwave has broken and the forecast shows average temperatures for this week -in the 70s. Tia back to school, friends and family back to work. Well I think this week I will do some hiking - with pen and paper!

Reaching New Heights

Last Friday was a day of highs and lows. I had recently given my notice at work (one of my 2010 new year's resolutions - get a new job) and was prepared that day to leave immediately or give as much notice as she wanted. The new job was flexible for when I started and I had concerns due to certain drama at work that I may be asked to just leave -no noticed needed. Instead she appeared sad and excited for me at the same time and said I could give as much notice as I wanted - I gave a month. I went home and felt some trepidation towards her reaction and emailed her. I got back this email reply stating how wonderful I have been - her "right hand" person for so long and what a huge hole I would be leaving, but that I was very marketable and with my experience/resume that they couldn't afford to keep me. Blah, blah, blah - she's so politically professional. I didn't tell her I was taking a huge pay cut just to get the hell out of there!

However - in the business world people are not to be trusted. Friday - she shows up at the office and says she decided to accept my immediate resignation and asked for my keys. She had no good answer when I asked why. She said I would be paid for the next two weeks. My best guess is that our outreach person and her personal friend had just lost her funding and would be taking over my hours. WTF - right? Seriously, I have done some great work for this agency and this is how she ends it?

But anyway - not to be deterred, I was scheduled for a helicopter ride that night and was close to cancelling when I decided no, I needed something new and fun. Let me just say it was amazing! OMG - it was more than amazing, it was exhilarating! We flew over the city, over the lake and to the mountains in northern Maine. We landed on Saddleback Mountain - on a peak near impossible to hike to unless you hike up and down and up again from the mountain before it. We got out and hung out there, took some pictures and I felt so free, so enlighten. So high on life - and so determined!

In truth, I may just be stuck in denial. Have I really thought out this huge pay cut and how I am going to pay my mortgage? Not to mention a couple of weeks with no income... Hell no - but still I'm not afraid. I have given up ideal hours and great benefits for less but I feel good about this because I have stepped away from something stagnant, something that was holding me back. And the program I leave behind is something I truly believe in but after 14 years and no real changes in the work I do - I was feeling so stuck and bored. I will miss some of the women - some of the greatest women I have ever known, but I will keep in contact with them. Keep in mind, that in a few months I might be blogging from the library as I won't be able to pay my Internet bill... but that's another story. I just know that when there is a will there is always a way. This new job offers lots of opportunities for advancement and due to less hours, I will have more writing time!