Birthdays, Resolutions & Neverland

My inner child is Peter Pan. I never wanted to grow up - never wanted to turn 18, never wanted to turn 21 and this birthday (30-something) is no exception. I don't think it's the responsibilities, at least not entirely, it's just that I want to play. When my first daughter was born I spent a lot of time on the floor playing. By the time my third daughter was born, my life was spinning out of control and survival instincts took over. It was all work and protecting the children. Escaping a nightmare and struggling to move forward alone with them. For the longest time after it was just work, making ends meet,carving out family time, dealing with single-parenting. But then as I found my footing, we began to play again, live, laugh, love and enjoy each other. As the girls get older I have more freedom and yet more responsibilities. I still play, I just need to schedule time and sometimes have the money available.

So today I celebrate my birth. Both of my parents deceased, mixed feelings about my own upbringing, concerns about the future -both immediate and distant. Why can't life be so simple as Neverland?

During birthdays I always reflect on New Year's resolutions. A quarter of the year gone by, so how am I doing? Not bad at all. On parenting and professional, I am meeting those goals and on personal (try 12 new things) well I've tried a couple new things so far but it's a good reminder that I actually have a fun goal this year. I did not make any hard specific goals like "join a gym" but instead "try 12 new things" and guess what, if I join a gym, that will be a "new thing"!

And of course I had a writing goal which includes this blog, write-night and writing. I could be doing better and spending more time with writing but I am ok with where I am at. I can accept that when life is turbulent and there is stress that I will not be able to focus and write. So I am ok with working on other life areas along the way, knowing that by doing so I am bringing comfort to my world and creating ideal writing opportunities.

This is life. I move forward and embrace new opportunities. I do my best to be a good person and care for those I love. I am a great friend and a hard worker. I am more open, more spiritual, and more hopeful than I have ever been. I am also very thankful for what I do have.

There is always time to play - and though we get older, we don't have to let go of our inner child. As writers we can create our own pretend worlds and stories. We can have all the adventures we want - and hopefully a lot of them will be real life adventures from which we can create even more fantastic stories!