I am drowning in a sea of mixed messages, some come from within me and some from others. I want to trust my gut and I want to trust my head - and they don't agree. I don't trust my heart because my heart is my inner child. In Freud's psyche analysis, I guess my heart would compare to my Id, my head(mind) my Ego and my gut my Superego. "Follow your gut instinct" is what we are often told. Yet it's in my gut that I feel this ball of ... something. I think it comes down from the heart. And though in my mind I am logical and practical, it doesn't diminish what the heart and gut feels. I need to train my mind - make it stronger. Be able to stand for what I know, and go forth in the light of that confidence.
My character from the story I started as a child, mixed up her dream world with her waking world. She never knew what was real. She never knew who to trust and what brought her the most comfort, also brought her the most pain. She went along in life and struggled through her school years, her greatest nemesis was reality. Or so she thought.
I recently had a dream where I was walking somewhere but I wasn't sure where. I just knew if I kept walking I would eventually get there.
Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Gorgeous weather, need to rake up the old leaves and clear the yard for this season - let go of the autumn gloom and winter darkness, and enjoy the New. What things may come need space to be nurtured.
The warmth of the sun promises comfort for the days. And when the day ends, we can trust the night as we dance under the pale moonlight.
1 comment:
I know what you mean. Sometimes I think my gut is telling me something when it was really my mind playing tricks on me. It's hard to know what to believe anymore. I wish I could offer some insight, but I'm in the same predicament.
Post a Comment